Riding always plays a necessary part of my life — escaping from my origin of joy is damn near impossible. But I do go through periods where I experience fewer opportunities to sit in a saddle. This makes me sad to an extent, it boils down to expenses much of the time. During these times, I meditate on my riding.
More recently, with Q experiencing some more mystery lameness, I’ve taken a longer pause.
Aging has brought maturity and perspective to these phases of being sidelined.
I try to limit the whining, and take moments to do other hobbies (write, read, hike). I also let it recenter my goals as far as riding is concerned.
I get stuck in tunnel-vision on my riding goals. Taking a step back can be beneficial.
My goals for 2019, as we reach a nearly mid-year check-in, stemmed from a “year of no excuses”.
Okay, right above at the top of this post, me making excuses for not riding. But without money I cannot eat, so I am going to allow a pass there.
I am not going to allow myself to become “comfortable”. To me, that means I am going to challenge myself. When I am riding these new horses with Q being out, I expect a level of competence. There is no “this is a new horse for me” wave of the hand that allows me to ride poorly.
I will continue to be kind to myself as I learn and make mistakes, but that is not incompatible with holding high standards for my riding abilities.
Another stretch I want to add is leasing or buying in the next 12 months. This one especially scares me. I know what you all are thinking, lady you cannot complain about money and also vote to buy a horse in the same post.
Y’all have to trust me on this one. And note that I’ve been a fiscally hyper-responsible agent of self-preservation for my entire life. This would be my first toe across the line (aside from getting into horses to begin with).
There is so much more available to you when you own horseflesh. And I think I’ve drilled the responsibilities over and over again. I am aware of the culpability that comes with horse ownership. And I need to grow up a bit.
Lastly, I need to be more wholly responsible for my happiness. And by daring to document this in a public form it’s the first step toward that.
Much, much more to come.